Background Passage: I Corinthians 13:1-13
Happy Valentine’s Day!
Its origin traces back to the memory of a saint who was executed on February 14 over 1,500 years ago. Not exactly a Hallmark moment, is it?
Two legends surround St. Valentine, the patron saint of lovers, epileptics and beekeepers. The first story says that Valentine was a Roman priest and physician who was martyred on February 14 during the persecution of Christians by the Roman emperor Claudius II Gothicus in the late third century. Apparently, Valentine defied the emperor’s orders and secretly married couples to spare the husbands from war.
Again, not exactly a Hallmark movie. However, according to the second legend, Valentine befriended his jailer’s daughter whom he had healed from blindness, often exchanging letters from prison that he signed, “from your Valentine.”
Okay, that’s more like it.
Despite this noble beginning, no one celebrated Valentine’s Day for more than 1,000 years. The first valentine still in existence today was a poem written by Charles, Duke of Orleans, to his young wife in 1415. The Duke had been captured at the Battle of Agincourt and jailed in the Tower of London shortly after their marriage.
As such, it was a rather depressing note dated February 14.
My very gentle Valentine,
Since for me you were born too soon,
And I for you was born too late.
God forgives him who has estranged
Me from you for the whole year.
I am already sick of love,
My very gentle Valentine.
I seriously doubt Hallmark will resurrect that one on one of their cards.
Over time, Valentine’s Day has morphed into a time when we celebrate romantic love. And, as a concept, it’s worth celebrating. Romantic love provides the starting point for one of the world’s most cherished relationships between two human beings. It is a gift from God, not to be taken lightly or dismissed easily.
However, anyone who’s marriage lasted beyond the honeymoon stage knows that romantic love gets buried in the messy reality of life. To be sure, healthy relationships dust it off as often as possible in a haphazard and sporadic reminder of the things that brought us together in the first place.
When Robin and I married 45 years ago, we had read at our wedding the beautiful verses found in I Corinthians 1:13, a passage many have used to define married love.
While such definition wasn’t Paul’s intent, it does take love to a new dimension that serves as the spiritual glue that binds two people together.
Paul wrote those words to address the growing discord in the Corinthian church that hampered their relationship with God and with one another. Within their relationship as the body of Christ they each had gifts to share, none more important than the other. All God-given and necessary.
Paul told them that despite all their gifts, they lacked one thing. As a result, all their words and deeds sound as “noisy gongs and clanging cymbals.” Meaningless.
Paul implored them, “Let me show you the most excellent way.” Then, he shared some of the greatest poetry of the New Testament.
“Love is patient. Love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered. It keeps no record of wrongs.
“Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”
All else, Paul reminded the Corinthians, will fall away and disappear, leaving us incomplete. But, all is not lost.
“And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. And the greatest of these is love.”
Here’s the point I’m trying to make, I hope. The love we share with our spouse never reaches its greatest depth absent of the love of God within that relationship. As great as one might think their marriage to be…and it could be marvelous by the world’s standards…it could be infinitely richer and more meaningful when grounded in God’s love.
This “agape,” God-like love that he shares in abundance with us, demonstrates itself in our lives when we love each other as he loves all of us. It is the measuring rod of our spiritual and marital maturity.
When love is patient it never tires of looking out for the well-being of others. When kind, love is tenderhearted in word and deed, never harsh and bitter. Love cannot look at the accomplishments, possessions and abilities of others with jealous intent. It cannot look at its own success with boastful pride.
Love remains approachable, always. Not arrogant or overbearing. Love is courteous and polite. Never selfish or indulgent. Love is slow to anger despite cause and easily forgives, holding no grudges. Taking no offense.
Love cannot inflict pain upon another. Love rejoices when we get it right. Love celebrates truth.
Love believes the best of others and trusts in the other’s intent. Love hopes always that those who fail will not fail again rather than insisting that failure is inevitable. Love always lasts through life’s difficult moments.
When you think about it, love like that is exactly how God loves us. Love like that is exactly as we are to love one another. Love like that is the definition of married love.
Therefore, it seems to me, that married love is at its best when both individuals within that relationship are filled with God’s love to the extent that it flows freely through them and into the heart and soul of the other.
I am grateful that my wife loves me like that, despite my mistakes. I am hopeful that she knows I love her like that.
It’s Valentine’s Day!
I hope you and yours are reminded today of that which brought you together in the first place and God’s love that allows you to grow deeper in love each day.