relationships – Dr. Kirk Lewis

Words of Godly Wisdom

Background Passages: Proverbs 2:3-6; Proverbs 3:3-6

Have you ever wondered who is the most often quoted American?

If you think about that question, you might respond with Abraham Lincoln, George Washington, Thomas Jefferson or Dr. Martin Luther King

It might or might not surprise you that the most quoted American is actually Lawrence Peter Berra, “Yogi” to his friends. Yogi was a professional baseball catcher, coach and manager. He spent most of his Hall of Fame career with the New York Yankees. People consider him one of the greatest catchers in the game.

If Shakespeare wowed us with “the most unkindest cut of all,” Yogi mesmerized us with “We made too many wrong mistakes.” The catcher turn philosopher also gave us these gems of wisdom.

“No one goes there nowadays. It’s too crowded.”

“It’s like deja vu all over again.”

“Baseball is 90 percent mental and the other half is physical.”

“Always go to other people’s funerals otherwise they won’t go to yours.”

And, my personal favorite,

“I’m not buying my kids an encyclopedia. They can walk to school like I did.”

I guess I’m just a sucker for a good quote. Maybe that’s why I was drawn to Proverbs this week as I read through my Bible. When looking for a word of practical truth, it’s a good place to start.

One survey I read said that Proverbs 3:5-6 is the most often read and quoted Proverb. It says…

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, In all your ways acknowledge him and he will make straight your paths.

The verse’s strength rests in its simplicity. Put your faith in God’s divine guidance. Trust him as he leads you through life. Walk in humility and do not rest solely on your judgment and your grasp of the situation. Lean on God and your direction in life will be a lot clearer.

Simple to say yet so difficult to do.

You can glean a lot about life throughout the Proverbs. In fact, Solomon, the accepted author of most of these morsels of wisdom, states clearly why he wrote these down under the inspiration of God. Read what he says in Chapter 2.

…if you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding, and if you look for it as for silver and search for it as for hidden treasure, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God. For the Lord gives wisdom, and from his mouth come knowledge and understanding. (Proverbs 2:3-6)

The simple truths the writer shares are answers to our call for insight and understanding. Proverbs is written to help us discern God’s truth and his will. Our diligent quest for the wisdom that comes from our Father in heaven. As the old children’s show on television said, “The more we know, the more we grow.”

Here are a few of my favorite Proverbs and a few thoughts on each.

A quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping on a rainy day; restraining her is like restraining the wind or grasping oil with the hand. (Proverbs 27:15-16)

Okay, that one just makes me laugh and was written by a man who, in sync with the kingly culture of the day, had many wives. I’m guessing one of those women wasn’t his favorite.

I’ll just counter it with my personal experience found in Proverbs 31.

A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good all the days of her life. (Proverbs 31:10-12)

Sticking with the family theme…

Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he shall not depart from it. (Proverbs 22:6)

I think what this verse tells us is that we should create in our children a desire to know God, to whet their appetite for the things of God. If we do that well enough, the probability of them straying from that path is small. It stresses the importance of the role parents play in guiding their children through the formative years of life.

I like how the Proverbs also speak to our relationships outside the family.

If a man loudly blesses his neighbor early in the morning, it will be taken as a curse. (Proverbs 27:14)

It may not be a favorite, but it’s a good reminder to not call a retired person before 9 a.m. and disturb his “easing into the day” time.

As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. (Proverbs 27:17)

People are shaped by their relationships with other people close to them. I think this proverb speaks to the importance of companionship and friendship in our growth as a person of God. So many men and women, young and old, molded my life over the years through the friendships we developed. I continually learn from others how God desires me to live. I live in gratitude to so many.

That thought leads to another great proverb that teaches me that a humble spirit is the heart of those relationships that help us grow as people of faith.

Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall. (Proverbs 16:18)

Others cannot mold and shape us if we are too proud to listen to their sound advice. Humility, the essence of the spirit of Jesus, the one which we should follow as we walk “humbly before God” and our fellow man.

A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. (Proverbs 15:1)

Regarding relationships, this proverb really tells us that our words and our tone matter as we try to help each other grow in Christ, resolve conflicts and mitigate anger. Being temperate and tactful keeps issues from growing out of proportion.

These represent just a few of my favorite words of wisdom shared in Proverbs. I’m drawn to Proverbs because of the practical advice wrapped in the endless metaphors strung together in catchy phrases.

In serious study, I find the Proverbs far more than that, however. The Book of Proverbs communicates a distinct world view or set of values to which most of us can easily relate. They speak to what it means to be godly in a fallen world.

Because the book of Proverbs succeeds in giving us an idea of how God designed the world to work, abiding by these pearls of wisdom sure makes life easier. Don’t mistake the Proverbs as simply sound advice. If we use the Proverbs as a source of godly wisdom rather than human advice, they begin to speak to the heart in ways that change the way we live and relate to others.

In the general course of a life lived for the Lord, the words of Proverbs 3:3-4 seem most relevant.

Let love and faithfulness never leave you. Bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. Then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and men.

What’s your favorite proverb? Share it in the comment section below.

I Have Missed It

Background: Acts 2:42-47; I John 1:3

I have missed it. I just did not know how much I missed it.

I stood to the side of the room and relished the laughter and boisterous conversations. Last night, 130 deacons and their spouses gathered in the open air, cavernous space of a cleared out workshop and storage area behind our church. It was the first time since the pandemic struck the country and my church that we had been able to come together for a fellowship meal.

Our pastor and our church have been careful during the pandemic. For months last year, we held drive-in church. Fellowship was limited to a honk and a wave from behind the safety of our car windshields.

When allowed, we moved back inside with every other row of pews blocked off and appropriately social distanced. We wore masks and were encouraged not to linger in our normal pre-covid conversations.

For a congregation that values relationships with one another as a family of God, to be distanced and isolated was gut-wrenching and heart-breaking.

A significant portion of our congregation has been vaccinated and with the country slowly returning to normal, it seemed the right time to come together again in fellowship. We took some precautions. Our traditional Deacon Banquet became a much more informal semi-outdoor, hamburger cook-out.

Friendly faces. Excited conversation. Exuberant laughter. Genuine smiles. The simple joy of being together again in fellowship made that ordinary Sam’s burger patty taste like a T-bone steak.

I imagine God looked upon that scene at the fellowship he inspired and turned to a nearby angel and quoted himself from Genesis:

“And God saw all he had made and said, “It’s very good.” (Genesis 1:31)

And it was very good.

Enjoying the company of others is not a distinctive Christian concept. God created us as social beings. I still miss the close associations I had outside the church prior to the pandemic. While I’m beginning to see things opening up, it is still not free and normal.

The nature of our humanity calls us together. With the deep fractures ripping through our culture these days, maybe that’s why the fellowship last night touched me to the core. We were together in Christian fellowship. I knew I had missed it, but I didn’t know how much I missed it until that last car drove away.

The story of the New Testament church begins in Acts. After Peter’s Pentecost sermon, scripture tells us that about 3,000 people joined that small group of about 100 Jesus followers. The movement that began in Jesus became a church. Not a church as we tend to define it today, but a body of believers united in Christ intent upon taking care of each other.

“And they devoted themselves to the apostles teaching, to fellowship, to breaking bread and to prayer. Everyone was filled with awe at the many wonders and signs performed by the apostles. All the believers were together and had everything in common. They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.” (Acts 2;42-47)

It should not surprise us that the early church…or any church today…for that matter devoted itself to “teaching and prayer.” The message of Jesus Christ, carried in the lives of those believers prompted the growth and power of the early church. The message they preached and lived was the primary reason God could add to their numbers each day.

Because the gathering last night is so fresh on my mind, I want to share a few thoughts on fellowship.

The Greek word was the rage when I was in college back in the 1970s. “Koinonia.” We used it to talk about Christian fellowship. For a time, we had a weekly luncheon at the Baptist Student Union called “Koinonia.” We ate and visited together.

Baptist churches and institutions (and other denominations, I suspect) in some ways trivialized the meaning of “fellowship.” Fellowship became a “social.” Coffee. Conversation. Donuts. Pot Luck. Games. The fun to balance the seriousness of the sermon.

Step it up a notch to add a few spiritual components to your fellowship definition. Sharing needs. Prayer. Encouraging. Comforting. Edifying one another. Now we’re moving in the right direction, but the Christian aspect of fellowship as demonstrated by the first century church is much deeper and richer.

“Koinonia,” the common Greek word which we often translate as “fellowship” means “common or mutual,” according to people more scholarly than I am. A more literal interpretation speaks to “sharing together” as a partnership or “sharing with” as in giving to others. “Partnering with.” “Sharing with.” In a word, relationships.

Fellowship, then, in the New Testament sense, is that thing commonly shared in some way by all parties involved. Relationships. Burdens. Privileges. Responsibilities.

To think of fellowship in a purely secular sense founded on common interests or physical ties would have been a foreign concept to Luke and the apostles. It always held a spiritual connotation. New Testament believers enjoyed fellowship because they first had a relationship with each other in and through Christ.

Consider fellowship as John did when he wrote:

“We proclaim to you what we have seen or heard so that you may also have fellowship with us. And, our fellowship is with the Father and with his son, Jesus Christ.” (I John 1:3)

Fellowship is a relationship, not an event. The idea is that any event or activity follows naturally out of our relationship with Christ. Luke described that first century church as having “everything in common.” I don’t think that mean they were all like-minded in all matters of life. To me it means they were bound together in Christ to a common call to minister and serve. To share the blessings that come from our faith in God.

Still, it was a part of their new DNA to take care of those in need. Luke said “they sold their property and possessions” to meet the needs of those believers with whom they shared a relationship. Their partnership in ministry meant that they would give their money or sell what they had to sell to care for those among them who were struggling. As Christians we become partners with one another and with God in the common mission and ministry of the church…all for the glory of God.

Within that fellowship, they also found companionship, meeting “every day in the temple courts” and eating together in each other’s homes with “glad and sincere hearts.” I like this mental image.

These are folks that worship…together. Share… together. Do the work…together. Eat…together. Laugh…together. Cry…together. I can image there was a comfortable companionship that emerged from their fellowship similar to what I felt during our Deacon fellowship. For that group of believers in the first century, that companionship must have made every chance or deliberate encounter with one another the highlight of their day.

The late Ted Malone, a Christian radio broadcaster, told the story of a sheep herder on an Idaho ranch who asked him to broadcast the note ‘A’ over the air. When asked why, the shepherd said that his only company were the sheep and his old violin. The violin was out of tune and the note would allow him to tune it again.

Malone honored the request. The shepherd sent Malone a thank you know saying only, “Now, I am in tune.”

During the pandemic, our church like so many others began live-streaming its services. It was a way of staying linked to or connected to those who were unable to come to church for worship. I’m glad we had that opportunity.

The danger in staying on-line is that we stay away from the personal aspect of our faith. Though connected in some ways, there is a disconnect to those things that make being a believer in Christ personal and meaningful. We need to be together to keep our faith alive and growing. When we lose the connection with other believers, when we disassociate ourselves from corporate worship, shared ministry and service, we lose the companionship that encourages our faith.

That first century church struck a harmonious note when they worshiped and ate together. They were in tune with one another. It is the perfect example for the 21st century church. We should be in tune with one another.

Relationship.

Partnership.

Companionship.

As the evening wore down last night and folks started home, I watched with a deep contentment the hugs and handshakes shared among friends. I cherish my relationship with those people. I am encouraged and energized by the partnership we share in the ministries of the church. I delight in the companionship of friends who love God and care so deeply for one another.

I know I’m not alone in this sentiment. Surely, you feel the same about the people in your church. I am grateful to the deacons and their spouses who reminded me last night just how much I need them in my life.

I have missed you. I just didn’t know how much I have missed your fellowship.

In Whom There is Nothing False

Background Passage: John 1:43-51

Gene Lewis is 90 years old, still living by himself in Levelland, Texas. He is my Dad.

Born in Rhome, TX, in 1925, my Dad grew up in the small, West Texas farming community less than 20 miles from where he lives today. He served in the Navy during World War II, spending his time in San Francisco ensuring that the military supplies reached their destination on the front lines. He jokes that he served in the Navy and never set foot on a ship. After the service, he returned home, worked as a clerk in a bank until he was robbed at gunpoint and locked in the vault.

Dad spent most of his years as a cotton farmer and his later years working in the county tax appraisal district. After he retired and up until a few years ago, he delivered meals on wheels to the “old people” who couldn’t make it out of the house. He still works occasionally at the appraisal district during their busy times or to help train a new worker. He spends time trying to grow a few tomatoes in baked, red dirt that doesn’t cooperate much. He does love his home-grown tomatoes, but then, so does anyone who has ever tasted home-grown tomatoes.

That tells you what he has done, but not who he is. For that, I’ll simply remind you of the story of one of Jesus’ disciples.

Nathaniel (Bartholomew), born and raised in Cana in lower Galilee just a few miles from Nazareth, worked as a part-time fisherman and a full-time seeker of God’s truth. As Jesus began his ministry, Nathaniel followed the new rabbi for several weeks, listening to his teaching, probably sitting in the back row or on the edge of the crowd, getting his own measure of his teaching. He found Jesus’ conversations in the synagogue always rich with meaning and purpose. The stories to the multitudes penetrating…challenging the listener to think more deeply about God’s word. He was intrigued by this carpenter from Nazareth.

On this particular day, Phillip, one of Jesus’ new disciples, grabbed Nathaniel’s arm with a sense of urgency and excitement. “Come and see,” he said. “We have found the one whom Moses wrote about and about whom the prophets also wrote. Jesus of Nazareth, the son of Joseph.”

Knowing the scripture as he did, Nathaniel had trouble believing that the Promised One would come from Nazareth. Not yet knowing that Jesus was born in Bethlehem, he stated as fact, “Can anything good come out of Nazareth?” It was not a put down as we have made it over the years. He questioned because the “facts” he knew didn’t align with scripture.

When Phillip and Nathaniel approached, Jesus stood to greet him. With a smile and a comment that conveyed immense respect, Jesus said, “Here is a true Israelite in whom there is nothing false.”

Whenever I think of that story and the high praise Jesus rained upon Nathaniel, I think of my Dad. The thought popped into my head again this week we approach Father’s Day. My Dad is a true child of God in whom there is nothing false. While certainly not infallible, he lives his life with the utmost integrity. What you see is what you get. And you get a whole lot of good.

As a child growing up and an adult trying to find my own way in the world, Dad’s lifestyle laid out a set of undeclared expectations I still try to meet. He loved my Mom completely and with full devotion. That was a gift to his three children that he modeled each day. They were affectionate, but not mushy. They endured good-natured ribbing and laughed freely. Dad was her biggest supporter and she was his. His ability to love his wife and family openly was, and is, one of my greatest blessings in life.

Farming was not the easiest life to live. Dad would have supported any career path we chose, but we all knew his preference was for us to find another line of work. As a result, he helped raise a lawyer, a doctor and me. Dad instilled in all of his kids a serious work ethic, an attitude I see reflected in my brother and sister in the work they do. He worked hard and did what was necessary to support his family. While we may not have had a lot of material things, we were never poor…in reality, nor in spirit.

Dad spent long hours in the field, but he also knew how to rest. He understood that there was a time and place for everything. He knew how to leave the worries of the work on the tractor and come home focused on his family. He could also put things beyond his control in proper perspective. If the crop was hailed out, he spent little time moaning about his bad luck and more time thinking about the next steps. His work ethic and attitude toward life impacted me greatly.

Dad continues to teach me a great deal about our relationship to others. I don’t think I have ever heard a prejudiced word escape my father’s lips. Given the time period in which he grew up, that’s pretty amazing. He taught all of us that a person’s worth is measured by who he is and not where he comes from or what he looks like. Worth, to Dad, is not measured by political preferences, religious beliefs or immigrant status. A person should be measured by how he lives each day, how he treats others, the value he adds to the world. To treat anyone differently is just wrong.

I watched Dad as I grew up. If he found himself in a fractured relationship for any reason, he did his best to set it right, even if it meant having difficult conversations. Most of the time, those conversations led to a deeper friendship or, at least a mutual, respectful understanding of the other’s position.

These things and so many others make my Dad a great man in my eyes. However, if you know my Dad or ever met him, it would not take you long to understand that his relationship to God is his greatest gift to his family and friends.

If you look back to Nathaniel’s encounter with Jesus, you find Nathaniel stunned that Jesus used such kind words to describe him. “How do you know me?” asked Nathaniel. Jesus replied, “I saw you under the fig tree.” Sounds rather cryptic to us, but Bible scholars say it was not an uncommon circumstance for students of the scripture to congregate under the trees, unroll a scroll to study and discuss God’s Word. I like to think that Jesus was so aware of his surroundings that Nathaniel’s study under the fig tree, his desire to know God more intimately, did not go unnoticed by the Savior.

After a long day at work, it was not uncommon to see my Dad, sitting in his recliner, studying his Sunday School lesson while we watched Andy and Opie or some inane Star Trek episode. His discussions and debates with my Mom about scripture were often lively and always deep. Just reading the words of the Bible at face value is not enough for Dad. He wants to find its core meaning and its common sense application. The Bible for Dad is not spiritual pabulum or an outline of denominational theology, it is a blueprint for practical daily living. Its message drives the way he lives and loves.

I could regale you with stories about my Dad in hopes that you would know him as I do, but I can think of nothing better than this. Dad is Nathaniel in my eyes. A man in whom there is nothing false. And, I am a better man because he continues to teach me all he knows.

I love you, Dad.

Happy Father’s Day.